Monday, May 4, 2009

Madeline's Birth Story

Don't worry, I will try to leave out the gory details. This is more of a record for me, so feel free to skip it if you don't want the play-by-play.

Sunday, April 26th

8 am--I wake up, feed Emma, shower, eat breakfast. I then proceed to clean my kitchen to my mother's standards, as she is set to arrive in a few hours. My back hurts. I assume it is because I cleaned the bathrooms and floors to my mother's standards the day before. (My mother's standards are higher than my usual standards, especially at 9+ months pregnant.)

10 am--We get ready to leave for the airport. My back is still hurting randomly. I pop a Tylenol for me and fill a sippy cup for Emma. (Dave is at church, so I am doing all the driving, which is fine with me, because the car has excellent air conditioning, and it's all pointed right at ME!)

11:30 am--We pick up my mom after being parked at the curb for 20 minutes with nary a cop in sight. I am happy to see her because, among other things, I can turn the car (and air conditioning) back on. We chat about many things on the way home. I mention that my back has been randomly hurting, as it has several times during my last trimester, but otherwise, NO SIGNS OF LABOR WHATSOEVER. I chat about our plans for Monday (taking Emma to music class, showing her where the hospital is, going out to lunch). I have been fully convinced for weeks that this baby is coming on the 28th when I am induced.

1 pm--We arrive home, eat lunch, take naps. Pass the afternoon reading and things. I vaguely think that I should pack my hospital bag, but decide to put it off until tomorrow.

5 pm--I make dinner and it is fabulous. I especially enjoy the potatoes. Mmmmm, carbs.

7 pm--We put Emma to bed and show my mom her bedtime routine for later in the week when I'm in the hospital.

7:30 pm--I plant myself on the couch. I pop another Tylenol (might as well be a sugar pill), console myself with some leftover Easter candy, and watch TV. My back is hurting more now, but I figure it is just because it is the end of the day.

8:45 pm--My back is hurting so badly I can't stay in one position. I keep moving from the couch to the computer to pacing around the room. I begin making trips to the bathroom every 15 minutes, apparently eliminating everything I have ever eaten ever.

9:30 pm--I give up on watching the Celebrity Apprentice--not even celebrities behaving badly can entertain me in my pain. I figure if I go to bed, I will wake up and the pain will be gone, as has happened before when I've had back pain.

9:40 pm--It hurts like hell if I lay down. I get up and take a shower, then go back to pacing between the bathroom and surfing the internet. I'm really annoyed that my back pain is so bad.

10 pm--I tell Dave to get off the computer because it's time to pack. Not that I think we have to go to the hospital, mind you, but I feel like we should do it. I sit on the bed and order him to find things to put in my suitcase. I end up getting up and packing most of it myself, because apparently nothing is where I think it is. And my back hurts from laying down.

10:45 pm--I take another, longer shower. My theory was that I must have been moving slightly every so often to trigger spasms. After standing in the same position for half an hour with hot water cascading down my back, it suddenly hits me: my back spasms are coming in regular intervals.

10:47 pm--I get out of the shower, hobble to the study to get What to Expect and read up on back labor. It is extremely unhelpful. I wobble upstairs to wake up my mom and ask her if she ever had back labor, and she says it usually moves to the front.

11 pm--Back pain is excruciating. I would love some hardcore pain meds, but I still think that if I go to the hospital I won't actually be in labor and they'd send me home. I'd rather stay home, close to my bed, because I really really want to sleep. Dave goes to bed.

11:45 pm--After watching the clock for a while, I realize that back spasms are coming approximately 5 minutes apart. Maybe I am in labor after all.

11:46 pm--I turn the light on and tell Dave that we need to go to the hospital. "Why?" he grunts from his pillow. "Because my back pain is coming every 5 minutes."

11:47 pm--Dave is suddenly more awake. He hops out of bed, gets dressed, and goes upstairs to wake up my mom. I go to the bathroom AGAIN.

Monday, April 27th

12 am--I call my doctor, talk to the answering service, call another doctor's answering service.

12:15 am--Waiting for the on-call doctor to call back. Lean over the counter muttering "ow ow ow!". Random lines from Juno, some containing questionable language, are running through my head.

12:20 am--The on-call doctor calls back. I describe my evening while having what I now figure is a contraction. The doctor says I better go to the hospital.

12:30 am--We leave for the hospital. Dave stops at the stop signs in our deserted neighborhood, and I shoot him a nasty look and ask him why he's stopping. I go back to muttering "ow ow ow," and try not to comment on how slow he's driving. Epidural here I come! (In Dave's defense, he did drive 5-10 mph over the speed limit most of the way, in an area that is frequently patroled by cops. However, it was not quite fast enough for me. :)

1 am--We arrive at the hospital. Dave drops me off at the entrance and goes to park. I offer a lovely greeting to the nurse: "I'm going to puke."

1:02 am--There goes my lovely dinner.

1:20 am--In triage, the nurse checks me and declares me dialated to a 6. She asks me a series of questions and I interrupt to politely request an epidural as soon as possible.

1:45 am--I am rolled to an L&D room and hooked up to an IV. No epidural yet, but some pain meds that make things a bit more pleasant.

2:15 am--The nice epidural man arrives. Hooray! It goes with without a hitch and just a pinch and sweet, sweet relief starts flowing to my lower half. I close my eyes and try to rest a bit.

2:40 am--Dialated to 8 cm.

4:04 am--The nurse asks if I am feeling any pressure, and I tell her that I feel a bit of a tickle, like a tiny head is poking out. She checks and it is time to start pushing.

4:15 am--The on-call doctor arrives. I have no idea who he is but I also do not care. The pain isn't bad at the point, but I really want this baby out so I can sleep. (Ha ha. Apparently I was delusional.)

4:39 am--Madeline is born. The doctor suctions her mouth (she had some meconium) and plops her on my tummy. She's perfect.


Amberly said...

loved the play-by-play. I had back labor with beckham and it is not fun. I'm sorry you dealt with that all day! congrats on little madeline, she's a doll!!

sam c. said...

Love ya Jess. You are my kind of girl! Epidural & drugs & not afraid to admit it!
The dirty looks & not so nice remarks to the hubby & not afraid to admit those either... I even bit Steves hand at one point while delivering Ben!!!
So glad she is here & healthy.

Emily said...

I'm so sorry you had back labor. I've never had that, but I don't have epidurals, so I think I can sympathize a little bit. You are like me and don't want to have to go to the hospital until absolutely neccessary. Sounds like you did a great job!..and your mom got there just in time. :) Post more picts of the cutie!

The Roberts' Report said...

Way to go Jess. I'm sooo proud of you for making it to a 6 without even knowing you were in labor. Ok...maybe it was probably a 4-5 when you realized it was labor, but since Dave opted to drive like an 85 year old lady, you got to a 6 by the time you go to the hospital!! ;)

Becca said...

I love the birth story. It sounds like Heavenly Father knew what he was doing with your mom getting there in perfect time.

Shelly said...

Congrats! Thanks for the story, I love reading them. That sounds very familiar. I've done it 3 times (yes, you can have back labor with twins, who knew?).

I hope the sleep is better soon.

K. said...

I loved reading all the details of Madeline's birth. We can't wait to meet her! Incidentally, you really should watch the end of that Celebrity Apprentice episode online. In the last scene, Joan and Melissa Rivers throw a tantrum that is high comedy.

Lulu said...

WHAT A WOMAN! Back pain kills!
I love the details, and I love that you got mad at Dave for driving so freakin slow. Carlos did that to me too, and I could have about killed him.
Congrats on the little munchkin!

Jen said...

I had back labor too--it was the worst. But I am jealous about your pushing time, though. Maybe on my second baby it will be less than three hours? The doctor, resident, and nurses kept asking me if I wanted to look at him or touch him and I kept yelling, "No! I just want him out!"

Sarah H said...

That's nice you went into labor naturally. Yay for epidurals!!!

Maile said...

You are hilarious, Jess! That was so entertaining to read. I loved the parts about cleaning to your mom's standards - for me, it's my mother-in-law and I need to get started on that soon because she's coming into town next week. I had the same experience before knowing I was in labor with Asher of being in the bathroom time and again. I'm so glad Madeline arrived safe and sound - she is beautiful!

The Silly Witch said...

I love the play by play. And back labor is very very hard; I'm proud of you for enduring it so long. And I'm so happy you didn't have to be induced and that Madeline waited for your Mom to arrive.

aubrey said...

My goodness, I had no idea you were this funny...

Christina said...

Hurrah! And thanks for the blow-by-blow!

Tyler, Amy and Kate Waterfall said...

She is perfect. And you are amazing!

mistieleigh said...

Hooray! Sounds exciting. I can't believe you were already a 6 when you arrived. Happy the epidural worked well (at least to have no pain for the pushing). Congrats!!!

Erica said...

K...I am a totally crappy commenter. Regardless, way late congratulations!!! She is a beauty. Completely loved the story. You rock.